Near the beginning of every memorial, I light the chalice and frame the service with words from Rev. Maureen Killoran: “We come together from the diversity of our grieving, to gather in the warmth of community giving stubborn witness that in times of sadness there is room for laughter; in times of darkness there always will be light. May we hold fast to the conviction that what we do with our lives matters, and that a caring world is possible after all.”
Maureen wrote the piece very specifically to help as we gather after someone we love has died. But in doing so she also named our living hopes and challenges as a congregation and as individual people when we are faced with the hurts and wrongs and uncertainty and despair of events and everyday life. She gave us a frame of meaning and response. She says simply, don’t give in and give up to the comfort of routine. Bear stubborn witness. To what? The goodness and possibility of life and love and justice. With whom? Together so that we might hope to create and sustain right effort and relationship, “a caring world.” How? By “hold[ing] fast to the conviction that what we do with our (one precious, seemingly insignificant, individual, interconnected) [life] matters.”
Our actions, our choices, our lives, our being matters (i.e has significance, makes a difference, is important). Hold fast to that. We count. Yes, we all count in general, but more importantly, we care in the particulars of our actions and our time. It is the particular that matters. The particulars, our particulars are what make a caring world possible after all. You count.
An often-heard quick response to the phrase “Black Lives Matter” is all lives matter. I’ve even thought myself as a yes, but. It sounds infinitely reasonable but it is a dis-count. It discredits and tries to take all the energy and import out of what is being said; it assimilates the particular into the general, so that it doesn’t really matter. But the point is exactly the opposite. It is an assertion that black lives count. “What we do with our lives matters.”
Lives are important, not as much in the general, but in particulars, in the stories that are the particulars of the experiences of particular lived lives. Blue lives matter, brown lives matter, too in their stories and particulars. And yes, all lives matter, but saying that takes the discussion in the direction of support groups, personal growth or world peace, and away from the issue at hand, if it takes it anywhere at all.
Revs. Michael Carter, Judy Long and I are going to begin to address some of the particulars of race with three monthly programs. That’s to start. Your presence is important. Yes, you matter – a lot. Make it a particular part of what you do with your life. See you there.
— Rev. Jim McKinley, Minister